Why Co-Regulation Is Key to Understanding Behaviour
Joanne Jones 
Co-regulation helps children manage big emotions by feeling seen, safe, and supported. Stay calm, connect and guide them toward self-regulation.
Why Co-Regulation Is Key to Understanding Behaviour
When children experience big emotions, it’s tempting to focus on stopping the behaviour. But true change happens when we join them in their emotional state and co-regulate. This process helps children feel seen, safe, and supported.
- What Is Co-Regulation?
A shared process where you help your child manage their emotions by staying calm and present.
It teaches children self-regulation over time by modelling and supporting emotional control.
- Why It Works
Builds Safety: When children feel safe, they’re more likely to communicate.
Reduces Stress: Staying calm helps de-escalate situations.
Encourages Trust: Your child learns that you’re there for them, no matter what.
- How to Co-Regulate
Be Present: Get down to their level, make eye contact, and use a calm voice.
Acknowledge Feelings: “You’re really frustrated right now. That’s okay.”
Offer Tools: Show them how to take deep breaths, squeeze a stress ball, or use sensory items to calm down.
- Practical Example
Scenario: Your child throws a toy in frustration.
- Co-Regulation in action:
Stay calm and pick up the toy.
Say, “I see you’re upset. Let’s figure this out together.”
Model a calming activity, like taking a deep breath.
Co-regulation is the foundation for understanding and managing behaviour. It’s not about fixing your child’s emotions but walking alongside them until they feel safe and calm. With patience and practice, co-regulation builds a stronger, more connected relationship.